Visits: Safe & Sound

Lorde walked up the stairs of the hospice. It had been a very long time since she’d been there. Three years. She could come up with all kinds of excuses why she’d never made the trip; work, Colin, Kieran. But the real reason was that she was scared.

Entering the room, she put a smile on her face and walked over to the sitting area. Margo was already waiting for her and she let out a small sigh of relief. This meant it would be a good visit.

Sitting on the seat across from the older woman, she said, “Hello mama.”

Margo Lawson glanced at her daughter and smiled. “Lorde. How nice of you to come visit. Did you come with your father?”

Lorde frowned. “No, mama. I came alone. Are you expecting father to be here today?” Perhaps today wasn’t a good day. She looked at her mother more closely but could see no signs of the dementia. But looks were deceiving. Marcus Lawson never came to visit. Either this would be a first or her mother was having another episode.

“Today is our anniversary, he’s going to sign my release papers and bring me home.” Margo fiddled with her wedding rings, staring out the window.

Today was not going to be a good day. “Well, I’m sure he’ll be around shortly.” Lorde cleared her throat. “Mama, I just came by to tell you the good news. I’m pregnant again.”

“Again?” Margo frowned.

“Yes. It will be our second child.”

“To the same man?”

“To Kieran, my husband, yes.”

Margo looked at her sharply. “Does he treat you well?”

Lorde sighed. “Yes, mama.”

Margo stared at Lorde for so long that the younger woman sat up straighter. “This is the same man who paid for you to strip for him for months before he got you pregnant?”

Lorde lowered her eyes to the carpet. “Y-yes, ma’am.”

“And this second child. Your idea or his?” Her mother had a sharpness in her tone that demanded a quick response and total honestly. Lorde had never been able to lie to her mother.

“Mine. I – I didn’t know what else to do,” she confessed quietly, shame coloring every word.

“You’re sleeping with some other man.” Margo sat back in her seat. “Have I taught you nothing?”

“I’m sorry. I-”

A quick slice of Margo’s hand through the air silenced her. “I don’t want excuses. What have I always taught you?”

“It was an accident!”

“It is never an accident. They do everything for a reason. You are better than this!”

“I know what I’m doing!” Lorde sat up, ready to leave. She’d said more than she’d intended and at this rate it would take the nurse forever to calm her mother down. If her father truly was coming today he would have a hell of time.

Margo quieted down and said, “I knew it wasn’t an accident. What are you up to?”

Seething, Lorde stood up. “Nothing. I have to go now, I just wanted to see you. Bye, Mama.”

Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen

9 thoughts on “Visits: Safe & Sound

  1. rebornmonster says:

    Wow!

    Omg. That… I think that’s worse than being neglected…
    I mean – even as she /says/ it’s an “episode” – it would be impossible, as the daughter of that woman to not take this conversation to heart…

    God Lorde…

    Also – for a second time, I apologize for the assumption before…

    I don’t even know how to feel right now…

    Part of me wants Kieran to go be with the woman that he loves – but part of me just wants him to be right by Lorde. Maybe she’s a cunt sometimes, and maybe it’s tough work, but I really think Lorde deserves it…

    I mean – even after how hard it must be (when this is what a good day is like) for her to visit her mother, she still does… So many people wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t. I’m a dick like that…

    I’m really really really glad you started doing short chapters from Lorde’s point of view. If you’d have just told me this was going on, I don’t know if I’d have really understood. But, having to sit inside her head… It makes it impossible to not understand her as a person. And I like that. It’s tough, but amazing too.

    Like

  2. LilyParker says:

    Lorde’s family life certainly hasn’t been all sunshine and puppy dogs. I feel for her, having a mother with dementia. That’s one of the cruelest diseases, to me. And yet, it doesn’t excuse her behavior towards Kieran. She blatantly manipulates him, using his desire for her to cover her transgression and giving him false hope.

    Like

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